Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -43

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -99

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +147

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +79

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +25

LIE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops