Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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