John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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You should never talk to strangers.

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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