What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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I like to eat people

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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