A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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my mom raped yerr foot

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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