Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

boobs

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

knock knock go away ok

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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