a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

milly, milly, milly, cat

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

anus soup

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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