What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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