Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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62

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Oh...okay, good.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Jess Burns

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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