What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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apple pie.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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87

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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