Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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The Labour Party.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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