I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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Penis.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Kim Kardashian.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops