What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Face Hunter is scum

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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12

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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