Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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