Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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1134

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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