"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Terry has ebola

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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batman has diarrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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