What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Praise Paisley

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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wanna here a joke? you.

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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