Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

CHORGLUND

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats bloop with an m? matthew

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops