Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops