What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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womens rights.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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