Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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