What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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stuarts mum

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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You have friends

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops