what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Women's rights

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Refrigerator

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops