A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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