A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -49

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -161

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

thumb_up thumb_down +196

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

385

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops