Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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guess what chicken butt

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops