Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

The joke below is absolute shit.

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...