If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Dogs in my home.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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