Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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