What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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*you're

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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Justin Beiber

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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