How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

Women"s Rights

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

An asian walks out of math class

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

My friends are like trampolines I have none

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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