Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

womens rights!

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...