A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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