Why can't february march Because april may

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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Face Hunter is scum

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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boobs.

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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