- Anti Joke

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

Did nims chinnie? Fins.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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