So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops