roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

thumb_up thumb_down +23

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops