Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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