My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

thumb_up thumb_down -18

DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops