A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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