Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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i like turtals and kids

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

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Anyone??????????/

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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black people

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops