My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

thumb_up thumb_down +31

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i'm funny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The joke below is absolute shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti jokes gives me cold sores

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops