It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

1,984

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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