Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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