Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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JFK

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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