How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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A jew go out of a bar

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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a black guy leaves prison

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9/11

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What's clear and wet? water

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops