HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Women

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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hi

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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Sea World Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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