Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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