derp

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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The horse's name was Friday

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Junior's love life.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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