how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My friends are like trampolines I have none

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man farted. Another man walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops